Okay, fine, that’s not true. I don’t even know Kim Kardashian. Not really, anyway. I know what the media gives me of Kim Kardashian, the daughter of a fairly famous defense attorney, turned talent-less celebrity, who was sent here to make women and mothers all over the country feel bad about themselves.
It’s not just Kim Kardashian. It’s all of the celebrity moms who go into ‘hiding’ after they have their babies, while the world patiently waits to see how much weight they’re going to lose. Then they emerge six weeks later, in a size four, hair perfectly blown out, wearing heels and designer clothes.
I don’t hate these women for being skinny. I promise, I don’t. If you want to be skinny, more power to you, but, really? Six weeks later? Ten weeks later?
Look here, folks. That weight took ten full months to pack on and there is no shame in it taking that long to come back off.
I don’t want them to stay fat. I don’t want them to be sad and miserable and unattractive and unhealthy. What I want is for them to be like the rest of us. I want them to go to their first interview with spit up on their shoulder. I want them to have bags under their eyes. I want them to admit that they are tired and stressed and still having all kinds of weird sugar cravings because they are breastfeeding.
I want to look at an article in a magazine and go, “Hey, look at her. She’s a multi-millionaire and still doesn’t have her shit together. And yet, there she is, on the set of her new movie, fat post-baby ass and all, working it like a boss. If she can power through, so can I.”
I want these celebrity moms to take the powers bestowed upon them by the media and use those powers for good instead of evil. I want them to say, “Yes, I may have a big paycheck and I may not worry how in the hell I’m going to afford diapers and formula and a college education but, I’m still like you. I’m still sleep deprived and worried about what kind of mother I’m going to be, too. And the last thing I’m worried about right now is how much I weigh.”
I want the media to stop putting so much emphasis on what a woman looks like after childbirth. I want her weight to not be an issue.
SHE JUST GREW A HUMAN FROM SCRATCH, FOR GODSAKES! STOP PRESSURING HER TO GET ON A DAMN ELIPTICAL AND DRINK NOTHING BUT JUICE FOR THREE MONTHS!
I imagine it can’t be easy for these women to feel so pressured, either. I’m sure it must be hard for them to be under constant scrutiny and have their whole careers depend on their looks, especially when you add it to the pressure they are already feeling from, oh I don't know, HAVING A NEW BABY but, let’s be honest. There are more of them than there are people at The E! Network or employed at US Weekly and if they all got together and said, “Hey! We’re over it, Devil Media! We’re going to lose the weight when we’re damn good and ready and you’ll have to just wait it on out, yo! We make your money for you and if we want to stay fat then, you will just have to find something else to talk about. Go worry about Rob Kardashian’s weight, would ya’? That fat ass didn’t even have a baby. He has no excuse.”
Am I right?
I am hopeful change is coming, however.
Jill Herzig, the editor-in-chief of Redbook, did take some responsibility for being part of the problem and decided to help redeem herself by putting a picture of Kristen Bell, 11 weeks post-partum and, GASP, still packing baby weight, on the cover.
Thank Jesus. Someone is paying attention.
Happy Wednesday, Friends
go. do. be.
(By the way, when your talent is in words and you do your work behind a computer, no one cares what you look like. I don’t see anyone worrying about JK Rowling’s weight. Just sayin’)